Single in Seminary

It seems I haven’t updated my blog in a little while because, well, I have (excitingly) been doing the preacher thing.  It has been humbling, transforming, exhausting, renewing, and actually quite fun.  Please don’t tell anyone I said that—it might get out and then everyone will want to be a preacher, and I just can't risk the job security.  I will blog about experiences linked with my pastoral role soon-stop being so sad I can feel it as I type.

So for now….drumroll please (wait for it)…This will be a scattered hodgepodge of a blog in which I reveal my true feelings: “I am just a girl about to get her masters in theology standing in front of the blogger community, asking then to understand that she is not going to be a nun but that she is a human being and struggles like they do."  So let’s do this.

First of all, it is official-I am what the French call, okay correction, what most people who speak English call single.  That would mean I do not have a significant other with whom I can publicly canoodle.  This does not mean I am necessarily miserable, nor does it mean that I have taken an active stance toward singleness.  It just means the timing (God’s timing) for that part of my life hasn’t come. And, let’s be honest, it might have something to do with my high standards, which I draw from the one and only Liz Lemon on 30Rock: “I want a guy who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost . And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty out the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed… like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince! And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old."
 

Being single in seminary is not a sin, nor should it make me feel like I have something written on my face as it does. 

Here is one-side (my-side) of a conversation I have had multiple times this summer regarding my single status.  Disclaimer: those who may have asked these questions, no need to fear—I appreciate the fact that you consider the possibility that I might indeed be in a relationship; your concern reassures me that one day I may have children:

“No…I don’t have anyone special back at home…”

“Yes…I would like to.”

“And Yes, I agree, it is never too late.”  (Inner-monologue: “I am only 24, right?”)

“Yes…maybe I will meet an Irish bloke (fingers crossed)”

“Then, yes, I guess I would have to stay here forever.”

“Oh, you don’t say, there are plenty of eligible 70 year old farmers without wives up the mountain.  Give them my number.”

The hilarity of my single situation makes me laugh more than it makes me cry—but I just find it mind-blowing how much of an issue it is for people whether or not I have a “fella.”  Several of the most incredible people I know have yet to find their significant other—and they are still highly functioning, so congregations heed my warning, “Do not fear—it is not that we are strange, awkward individuals who lack the ‘right stuff.’  We are just kind of busy…usually washing our hair.”  And for the record, here is a short rant from the Kori peanut gallery (which consists of only one person—me).  It isn’t the sexiest pick-up line to say, “I am going to be pastor.”  I mean let’s be honest with ourselves—when you reveal this fact, especially as a woman, you lose a little steam.  Now add pastor (which infers you possess and intend to extend leadership skills in a dominantly male profession) to, again let’s be truthful, hilarity (which I am sometimes accredited as possessing) and the result is somewhat of an intimidating personality, which I will not apologize for, nor tone down—I would rather be single than deny myself the pleasure it is of being myself.  

This portion of the blogpost turned out to be a little more ranty than intended; I, however, feel it was necessary to get these feelings out in the open air for the world to enjoy and disagree with or find great comfort in (I think I used that last line in a Revelation Bible study recently).  Anyways this is in no way a personal ad, perhaps more so it a public warning: SINGLE SEMINARY STUDENTS ARE PEOPLE TOO.  Thank you blog audience, thank you.